My name is Timothy Leeb, I’m 31 years old, and have seen it all. In other words, I’ve lived a life, an unsheltered, modern day, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn odyssey, offering me many periods of prosperity, to desperation and being totally destitute.
From growing up in Manhattans upper east side to taking shelter on my friends sofa in Bend Oregon, I’ve learned a great deal about survival and the “Spices of Life” Money is inherently lonely as it always surrounded me with a crowd who’s value as people were predicated on their net worth. Then the inevitable economic theory, being it goes up until it comes down, applied with regards to losing money, which hurt my ego and broke my desire to re-gain my loss. Strangely enough, I always found a way of “making it” no matter what was thrown my way. “Making it” became my goal but the term means nothing without an awareness for what the “it” represents. The Grateful Deads poetic frontman once said, his goal was to live a “uncluttered life.” These words resignated with me because my inner clutter clouded my ability to obtain anything true or worth holding onto. The antithesis of clutter is, in my opinion, free space, which provides the ability to exorcise free will. My will wasn’t money, or having a tremendous number of women. It was sharing “it” all with one person, ready and willing to offer me emotional shelter and in return, achieve peace through my desire to share “it” with her. In clumsy fashion, I stumbled into a relationship with a wonderful woman, soft, yet strong, generous and full of gratitude and inner peace, moving enough, to soften the many misanthropic views I, over time, inherrited. The lense, in which I now view life, is a 180 from how I once saw the world and more specifically, my role in it. A unified desire for success is meaningful and so money is still a currency that comes and goes, though the manner in how I make “it” now has a more uncluttered half life. The joys and benefits I am afforded don’t dissipate with every change faced through economic fears, and the faces reflected through turbulent markets, are no longer an instrument of fear, but an opera with many intermissions and movements. In 31 long drawn out years, I finally, “made it” into something worth holding onto. Growth became synonymous with value and together, hand in hand, we continue to move forward, writing our own book.
Timothy LeebTimothy Leeb